By Mike Riley

Dear Preacher,

You often stress attendance at worship as important. But I think a fellow has a right to miss now and then. Please have me excused for the following reasons:

Christmas – (It comes only once a year!) – 1

New Years – (I need to start off rested) – 1

July 4th – (National Holiday) – 1

Labor Day – (The Bible commands one day of rest!) – 1

Memorial Day – (1 state holiday) – 1

School closing – (Kids need a break at the beach!) – 1

School beginning – (Last chance of summer) – 1

Family Reunions – (1 for my family, 1 for my wife’s) – 2

Out-of-town games – (We support the team) – 5

Tournaments – (High school & college, tennis & golf – one each) – 4

Anniversary – (Our second honeymoon) – 1

Sickness – (1 for each family member) – 5

Business trips – (A fella must make a living!) – 4

Vacation – (Only 2 weeks, 3 weekends) – 3

Bad weather – (Ice, rain, snow, hail, etc.) – 5

Dallas Cowboy games – 4

Unexpected Company – (Can’t walk out, they didn’t bring church clothes!) – 2

Alarm clock didn’t go off – (not my fault!) – 2

Time change – (Spring forward, fall back – I never get that right!) – 2

House and car repair – (Who can afford plumbers and mechanics anymore?) – 3

“Special” on TV – (Continuing Education) – 1

Total 50

So preacher, that only leaves two Sundays per year! We’ll see you Easter for sure and the third Sunday in August unless “providentially hindered”.

Signed: “Faithful Member”