By Mike Riley
Dear Preacher,
You often stress attendance at worship as important. But I think a fellow has a right to miss now and then. Please have me excused for the following reasons:
Christmas – (It comes only once a year!) – 1
New Years – (I need to start off rested) – 1
July 4th – (National Holiday) – 1
Labor Day – (The Bible commands one day of rest!) – 1
Memorial Day – (1 state holiday) – 1
School closing – (Kids need a break at the beach!) – 1
School beginning – (Last chance of summer) – 1
Family Reunions – (1 for my family, 1 for my wife’s) – 2
Out-of-town games – (We support the team) – 5
Tournaments – (High school & college, tennis & golf – one each) – 4
Anniversary – (Our second honeymoon) – 1
Sickness – (1 for each family member) – 5
Business trips – (A fella must make a living!) – 4
Vacation – (Only 2 weeks, 3 weekends) – 3
Bad weather – (Ice, rain, snow, hail, etc.) – 5
Dallas Cowboy games – 4
Unexpected Company – (Can’t walk out, they didn’t bring church clothes!) – 2
Alarm clock didn’t go off – (not my fault!) – 2
Time change – (Spring forward, fall back – I never get that right!) – 2
House and car repair – (Who can afford plumbers and mechanics anymore?) – 3
“Special” on TV – (Continuing Education) – 1
Total 50
So preacher, that only leaves two Sundays per year! We’ll see you Easter for sure and the third Sunday in August unless “providentially hindered”.
Signed: “Faithful Member”